Help your Video Game Obsessed Child: The Magic of Empathy and Understanding
As a parent, it's natural to want the best for your child. When it comes to video games, it can be difficult to find the right balance between fun and responsibility, especially when you see your child playing at the cost of other areas of their life. In a whirlwind of frustration and worry, many parents will quickly jump to taking the games away, trying to convince their children that their technology use is a problem or that they have a gaming addiction, or setting harsh and hasty boundaries. It’s important to remember that video games can be a valuable form of entertainment and a playground for developing skills, and that the games themselves are not the problem. With understanding and support, you can help your child navigate the world of video games in a healthy and positive way.
The Good Reasons your Children Enjoy Playing Games
Video games have become an integral part of modern childhood, providing entertainment, challenge, connection, and a sense of accomplishment. For many children, playing video games is the ultimate way to spend their leisure time, and that makes sense! It's important to remember that there are many good reasons why your child may enjoy playing games, and that this enjoyment can have positive impacts on their development and well-being.
One of the main reasons children enjoy playing video games is because they provide a sense of challenge and accomplishment. Games offer an opportunity for children to test their skills, improve their problem-solving abilities, and achieve a sense of mastery. Modern games are designed to do this really well; they get progressively more difficult as the player grows. These experiences can be incredibly rewarding and can help children build confidence in their abilities. Additionally, video games can provide a sense of social connection and community, as children often play with friends or participate in online communities with other players. This was especially valuable during the COVID-19 Pandemic when kids did not have another way to connect with their friends.
Another reason children enjoy playing video games is because they offer a form of adventure and relaxation. Games can provide a welcome break from the stress and responsibilities of daily life, allowing children to relax and unwind in a fun and engaging way. Additionally, games can help children develop important life skills, such as teamwork, strategic thinking, and problem-solving. Believe it or not, I learned a lot of skills that I use to practice and improve my abilities as a therapist during my time playing competitive games. By providing a fun and engaging way to develop these skills, games can help children prepare for success in school, work, and other areas of life.
Supporting Your Child with Empathy and Understanding
Trying to convince your child that they have a problem or getting upset about their gaming habits is unlikely to be effective. I call this “The Argument Trap”. Children are more likely to resist change when they feel criticized or accused. For this reason, approaching the situation with empathy and understanding is the most important thing you can do to support your child in finding a healthy balance and avoiding gaming addiction.
The most important thing you can do to support your child with video games is to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Listen to their perspective and validate their feelings. This can help build trust and open up lines of communication, making it easier to have productive conversations about gaming habits and boundaries. It's also important to remember that excessive gaming is often the solution your child has found to a problem in their life, such as social worry or difficulty connecting, depression, anxiety, or feelings of inadequacy. By approaching the situation with empathy and understanding, you can help your child feel heard and supported, and encourage them to seek help if they need it.
Having open and honest conversations with your child about their gaming habits can help to reduce arguments and get you both on the same team. Approach these conversations with empathy and understanding, and be willing to listen to your child's perspective. Explain your concerns and set clear and realistic boundaries around gaming, while also acknowledging the positive aspects of gaming. This can help your child feel heard and validated, improving your relationship and creating a sense of trust and understanding. For example, you could start a conversation by saying something like, "I've noticed that you've been spending a lot of time playing video games lately and I’m glad you’ve been enjoying them. I just want to make sure that you're also making time for other important things in your life, like school and friends. Let’s talk about how we can find a healthy balance." This approach shows that you understand and support your child's enjoyment of video games, while also setting clear boundaries and expectations.
By approaching the situation with empathy and understanding, you can help your child find a healthy balance with video games, and support their growth and well-being.
The Benefits of a Positive Approach to Video Games
Taking a positive approach to video games has several benefits. Firstly, it helps to build trust and open lines of communication between you and your child. When children feel heard and supported, they are more likely to be open to constructive conversations and changes in their behavior.
Another benefit is reducing the stigma surrounding video games. By approaching the situation with empathy and understanding, you can help your child feel confident and comfortable about their gaming habits, and encourage them to seek help if they need it.
Finally, taking a positive approach to video games can promote healthy development in children. By setting clear boundaries and encouraging physical activity, healthy relationships, and other important aspects of life, you can help your child find a healthy balance and reach their full potential.
Conclusion
Video games can be a valuable and enjoyable part of childhood, offering a sense of challenge, accomplishment, and relaxation. By approaching the situation with empathy and understanding, you’ll avoid the argument trap and can help your child find a healthy balance with video games while supporting their growth and well-being. By building trust and open lines of communication, you can help your child navigate the world of video games in a positive and productive way. Need some more tips on getting there? Check out the free resources below.
