Video Games, Relationships, and Communication
One thing I’m hearing about more and more from clients is the ways that video game and technology addictions can start to take a toll on our relationships and communication skills. Like, have you ever tried to hold a conversation with someone who's actively scrolling on their phone? It's like talking to a brick wall, but less responsive. It can be incredibly difficult and hurtful to be in a relationship with someone who has a video game addiction. It can feel like the video games are taking priority over the relationship, and that the person they care about is choosing virtual experiences over spending time with them. It can be incredibly hurtful and isolating; the time spent playing games and not attending to the relationship feeling like reflection on the relationship and your partner's feelings. It’s important to know that you’re not alone, and that this is a complex issue to navigate and understand.
One of the first things that happens when someone gets too involved in video games is that they start to prioritize pixels over people. They may spend less time hanging out with their partners and more time hanging out with their virtual friends. This can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection, which can be devastating on relationships. Often times, this leads to an argument over the game use that creates an even further disconnection.
Another issue that can arise is communication breakdown. When someone is constantly absorbed in a game, they may not be as present or attentive in real-life conversations. Even while not playing the game, they may be thinking about it or speaking about it constantly in a way that makes it hard to connect. Recently, I went out to dinner and saw one partner with their phone propped up on their glass watching Twitch (an online game streaming platform) during the meal. I personally felt a sense of sadness watching how disconnected this couple was from each other during their date. This can cause frustration and misunderstandings, and can make it difficult to maintain healthy relationships.
It's worth noting that video games themselves are not the problem, it's the way they are being used. Like anything else, it's all about balance, and the choice to villainize or go to war with the video games will likely lead to more conflict. If video games are starting to negatively impact your relationships or communication skills, it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist who specializes in video game addiction can help individuals and couples understand how to navigate difficult conversations around video game use.
