Top Three Concerns from Parents about Video Games and Screens Time and Their Solutions
It’s unavoidable; parenting these days involves the need to address how you will handle screen time and video game use with your children. While these activities can provide many benefits, such as entertainment, socialization, and education, they can also bring up feelings of worry and unease. In my last 7-years of working with parents, I’ve heard a few concerns come up on a consistent basis. In this article, I’ll address those concerns along with their solutions.
“My Child’s Grades are Slipping!”
One of the primary concerns that parents have about video games and screen time is the potential for it to negatively impact academic performance, or more likely, that it already has. I myself had been extremely addicted to video games and failed a total of four semesters of college as a result. However, it is important to recognize that video games do not cause poor grades, and that the best approach is to help support balance. It’s also important to remember that from your child’s perspective, grades may understandably not be a priority in their life. After all, games are fun and school can be extremely boring! With that being said, let’s talk about how to approach that.
To address concerns about slipping grades, I recommend setting clear guidelines and expectations for your child's screen time. This can include limiting the amount of time spent on non-educational activities, such as social media and online gaming. It’s best to work together with your child to help decide how much time is right. Make it clear that the goal is not to take away games, but instead to make sure there is room for other important things. If grades are important to you as a parent, it’s important to show understanding that this may not be important to your child, but still set limits. You may say, “I know you would rather play games and that make sense to me, and I want to make sure you’re set up to succeed in life. You can play games as long as you maintain at least Bs in your classes.” By setting clear boundaries and expectations, you can help your child use technology in a way that supports their academic success.
“I’m Sick of Arguing over Screens!”
Another common concern that parents have about video games and screen time is the arguments and rage that can occur when setting limits, during game play, and just after playing. I have worked with many parents who have seen their child's behavior become increasingly negative as a result of excessive screen time. There are a lot of reasons why this is the case, and part of this has to do with how excessive gaming impacts the brain, particularly those of children and teenagers. In short, it’s extremely hard for children and teenagers to regulate, and this is not a deficiency in them. They require the support and guidance of parents in order to do so.
To address concerns about arguments and disrespect, I recommend taking a stance of understanding while setting limits as well as promoting mindfulness while gaming. Understanding may be counterintuitive, however an argument requires two people. For instance, if your child yells because they don’t want to stop playing, you may say, “I understand that you’re angry that I’m asking you to stop playing because you’re having fun. I love you and care about you and want to make sure you’re healthy, so I’m going to stick to the limit we agreed upon.” As for the yelling, at a later point, you will want to set a boundary and consequence around what will happen if you are yelled at. If you need help with this, please check out my free guide below!
Promoting mindfulness will also help your children regulate. This can include requiring mandatory breaks and check-ins during gaming at regularly scheduled intervals. If you find your child getting worked up, let them know that they can keep playing but that they will need to take a break first to make sure that they are having fun while playing. By providing understanding and promoting mindfulness, you can help your child use technology in a way that supports their emotional well-being and stop arguing.
“My Kid is Coping with their Struggles through Gaming!”
Finally, many parents are concerned about their child becoming dependent on gaming as a way to manage their mental health, or that the gaming is indicative of poor mental health. As a therapist, I have seen firsthand the impact that excessive screen time can have on a child's emotional well-being, and that is certainly a possibility. Excessive screen time has been linked to a variety of mental health concerns, including depression, anxiety, and sleep disturbances. In addition, many of the clients who I worked with have found video games as a solution to a problem that they’re experiencing in their real life which leads to a cycle of needing to play to feel well.
To address concerns about mental health, I recommend promoting balance and alternative activities and seeking professional support. For example, you may set a boundary that your child must engage in other activities for their wellbeing before gaming such as spending time with friends, engaging in other creative or physical hobbies, or other enjoyable hobbies such as a martial art. After all, video games are not a problem within themselves and can be positive to mental health if used in balance. In addition, if you have concerns over your child’s mental health, it’s wise to seek the support of a therapist. You may say, "I care about you and want to support you in any way that I can. I notice that you’ve been playing a lot of games recently, and while I want you to enjoy games, I want to make sure you’re healthy and have someone you can talk to. How would you feel about seeing a therapist?” If your child is hesitant, I wouldn’t suggest forcing them. Instead, simply let them know that the option is open and to let you know if they would ever like to see a therapist. If this is the case, let your child know that you will be choosing to see a therapist to learn how to better support them.
Conclusion
Addressing screen time and video game use with your children is an important aspect of parenting in today's digital age. While there are concerns about the negative impact of excessive screen time on academic performance, behavior, and mental health, there are solutions to address these concerns.
To address concerns about slipping grades, it's important to set clear guidelines and expectations for screen time and work together with your child to find a balance that supports their academic success. To address concerns about arguments and disrespect, it's important to promote understanding and mindfulness while gaming and set boundaries and consequences around negative behavior. Finally, to address concerns about mental health, promoting balance and alternative activities, and seeking professional support when needed can help your child use technology in a way that supports their overall well-being.
By taking a proactive and supportive approach to screen time and video game use, you can help your child navigate the digital world in a healthy and positive way. Need help doing so? Check out my free resources below!
